Co-Dependency
What is a codependent relationship?
The term 'codependency' is often used casually to describe relationships where a person is needy, or dependent upon, another person. There is much more to this term than everyday clinginess. ... In its simplest terms, a codependent relationship is when one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed. Terms Such as ”emotional victim” “Low self-esteem” , obsessiveness is related to codependent “ relationships. “You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER BPD
BPD Is one of three Personality disorders. It may be the most stigmatised and most painful of the three. The symptoms are dramatic in themselves and typically overwhelm Clinicians, To the point that they refuse to give them care or the care patients receive is decreased due to Clinicians frustrations. Condition such as self harming behaviour, volatile mood swings, Poor self image, engaging in wild or Reckless behaviour, drug abuse, gambling, spending sprees, eating binges, depression, anxiety and rage Fluctuating with elation with joy. They are unable to manage their intense emotions and their thought processes become confused distorted and dangerous, mostly towards self. These wounded children are unable to regulate their emotions. They have a love / hate relationships which looks self-centred much like a narcissist. However it’s very unpredictable because it’s based on their fluctuating emotions. Unlike the narcissist, these people have the ability to be genuinely empathetic, sensitive, generous, and sacrificial. But if their emotions are not balanced They can explode in a Vindictive rage Cancelling out some of these positive attributes pushing away those they love. . “ Knowing others is Intelligence. “ “Knowing yourself is true wisdom”. “ Mastering others is strength”. “Mastering yourself is true power”. —- Lao Tzu
Narcissists in Life and Relationships
People with strong narcissistic tendencies are known for certain destructive Social patterns. One of them is in the presence of conflict or any type of disagreement they can act in abhorrent yeah predictable ways. They see themselves as victims and manipulate the narrative. This is all part of a Narcissist inner wounded child not being able to deal with Reality. It contradicts what they want to be true and creates painful emotions. As coping mechanisms they learn to DELUDE and DENY Reality. However they see the situation as such as very real even though it is not! It makes you wonder if it’s just a story they tell themselves and others. Our thoughts are our beliefs! So the longer you tell “ A story” The more you believe it! LYING - normal people deal with their problems themselves internally. Or discuss in a private setting in therapy or among close healthy friends. However narcissist don’t usually have people in their lives like that and are really not interested in resolving or being introspective. They simply want to know they are right.They need other people false validation to regulate their shaky self-esteem. Typically they lie and present a different story then what is actually true. Their self-esteem needs to be the good , noble caring virtuous person, where as the other person is evil,cruel, selfish and immoral. Which leads to PROJECTION. This is the most common way of creating a alternative narrative. This is their most beloved Tactic. If they accuse you of jealousy or cheating you can just turn it around and know the narcissist was jealous and cheating. In their minds they are trying to attribute their own unhealthy Behavior, perspective and character traits to the other person. In this way they shift Attention and responsibility from them to the other person. Rationalizing if the other person is all these bad things then I certainly can’t be bad,“ i’m the good guy”. “FRAMING THE STORY” Narcissist like to leave out there part and their involvement in The story. They like to skip right to the reaction of the other person. They will use euphemism and deceiving language. “ i’m not controlling, I just want what’s best for you.” They are notorious for saying things like “I was just joking around” when someone stands up for themselves. Thereby making themselves The victim. In essence they Project attributes, their own Bad behavior on others vindicating themselves from their bad behavior. In the same vein if you challenge them they will take it as an attack against them and react , “ How dare you Challenge me!”” You’re so insensitive and unfair” “ That’s why you deserve everything coming to you.” Their goal is always to turn others against you. They spend much time up in their head Conceiving, manipulating , Gossiping, smearing and slandering in order to control peoples and situations. Character assassination is not beyond them, they feel vindicated and it boost their self-esteem to tear down those around them. For example, a narcissist mother who constantly tells others how the adult child hurt them and say’s mean things. You quickly noticed that the mother is constantly demeaning, disrespecting and manipulating. If the adult child out of protection pulls back “Time ,money and Attention” The mother will see it as aggression because they feel entitled to these resources. Healthy Boundaries are crossed by the narcissist and the other personality types that play’s into their webs, these are the co-dependent and empaths. These relationships result in people getting seriously hurt, Socially financially and emotionally sometimes physically. But the narcissist does not care about that. In fact they often are glad Because from their warped perspective The target deserves it by being “ evil” So whatever happens it is justified.
emotional development ... “ Every moment of one's existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.” ..
I just described three personality traits that are prevalent in our society, all from some type of childhood emotional Neglect or trauma. These out of touch souls with their limiting beliefs and fractured self-esteems unable to see past the EGO’s protective layers Until there is a break in awareness and elevation of consciousness. If you have an injured inner child take a deep breath , give yourself a little hug and start practicing self love! For those of you whom lack consciousness or awareness and are overwhelmed consider clearing your chakras daily as well as mindfulness or meditation to raise your vibrational energetic body. After wards spend some time reflecting on your inner being with prayer and gratitude. Do this for 21 days consistently see if you come to a deeper understanding of who you are and any revelations that can be journaled and processed for healing. Past life regression Therapy can be helpful and will speed up the healing but if you don’t follow through with energy work after you'll end up back in old distorted cycles. As well back in lower consciousness and lower vibrations. Many of the tools in the TOOL section are there to help us to REFOCUS and REFLECT to find our authentic selves and start the process of self discovery. You will know when you've accomplished this higher vibrational state when you feel peaceful, happy and nonjudgmental. The word LOVE takes on new meaning. This is rewriting your story or reprogramming your mind but in the process you will need to learn to “LET GO” and “SURRENDER”. It is all about energy flow and removing blockages. Our goal is Bringing us into healthier relationships and the Beginning’s of abundance and blessings by Source and the universe. Take the first step….each step after will get easier!
“Emotional maturitY does not come from aGe It comes from self awareness” tony ElEtto
Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.
Emotional balance is the ability of the mind and body to maintain equilibrium and flexibility in the face of challenge and change. Emotional balance promotes physical health, and is a prerequisite for personal well being and growth.
What we experience as our mind is made up of our thoughts and emotions, and our happiness depends on us remaining in a balanced mental/emotional state. We all experience negative thoughts and emotions from time to time but if we stay in any state for too long we lose the ability to return to our balanced, neutral position.
We might find ourselves “locked” in any number of negative states; such as anger, fear,jealousy, worry, dissociation, self-sabotage or depression; agitation, impulsive, anxiety, panic attacks and sleep trouble, lack of drive and motivation, or poor concentration. These stuck emotions run just below the level of consciousness, intangible yet often overwhelming. These uncomfortable emotions can dominate our thinking process and give rise to inappropriate reactions that impair our ability to be at our best.